Raw is Curtis For 04/27/09
RAW is Curtis
04. 27. 09
Two weeks of vacation. So what. Here I am. As would have been too have titles change hands at Wrestlemania, he decided to change everything in the backlash instead. Surprise! Say hello to your new champion, Randy Orton, which just goes to show that you can hire the attacks on his boss and still get a World Title for his efforts.
Lets get started tricks!
Show opens with the chimpanzee who is happy with the edge to win last night too. Can hardly be heard over the jeers here. She will introduce Orton, and for us. The speakers really run out of things to talk about because Orton takes his time fucking sweet walk slowly with the “serious” in the face.
Orton says that the McMahon family is all sad and emotional about last night and the rest of us are all equal. He’ll say he’s different because he is really a success and made history. Like the time he rose from the dead. Or the time he invaded Poland. He will play clips of him destroying all McMahon, one by one with kicks to the head. Vickie reminds us that there is much to our regret. She said that Big Show and Batista will have each other tonight for the right to face Orton at Judgement Day. Orton says that everyone has to respect when suddenly. . . . MVP interrupts his speech. Haha?
MVP says he is the champion U.S. and does not respond to anyone who is a double negative, and thus delay. . . . DiBiase thinks he has to speak for some reason. Um. . . Ted says they better leave if you do not want your first night on the program to suck. MVP says Orton did not give permission to speak, crude is not a dictatorship or Orton Hall is raw. Well, at least he can read. MVP says he will beat himself if Randy Batista and Big Show can not take care of it. Rhodes decided that everyone should carry it out. Orton canceled before telling him something Vickie. This segment is about twenty minutes blisters mind here. Vickie said Randy Orton will take MVP tonight. How many shirts is MVP is anyway?
Brian Kendrick comes out the ring on a computer now seems to have stolen from Mad Max. He corrected Lillian when placed in the to be announced with a ‘The’ in front of his name. You are taking on The Kofi Kingston.
Kofi Kingston vs The Brian Kendrick
Kingston jumps over Kendrick, but Kendrick nails him with a slap. Kendrick tries to run, but keeps Kofi catch him until he opens a low blow to Kendrick. Kendrick turns off the shelf with an elbow and levels of Kingston with a Missile Dropkick from the top for two. He goes to a strange sort of bed on the floor. Kingston is free and takes Kendrick down with one punch, kick, clothesline combo on the Boom Boom Boom for two.
Kendrick back while staring to pick up his two count. Kingston powers back and is a springboard cross body, but Kendrick rolls through for two. Face, but Kingston revolves Trouble in Paradise for three.
Winner: Kingston />
Back to the fair where we have a reproduction of how Santina remained “his” title of Miss Wrestlemania.
Santina and Brie Bella & Kelly Kelly & Mickie James vs Glamazon & Maryse & Rosa & Jillian
Santina and begins with Beth Beth slaps. . . it. . . in the archive. . . chest. . . . Santina screaming runs and tags in Brie. Brie gets her ass kicked by Jillian complete and makes the tag for a somersault leg drop that misses. Brie goes under the ring and chases Rosa. Nickie Bella is there also. . . and so is that Hornswoggle chases her off. Beth and MARUSE chase back under the ring and are attacked by the smoke. Whatever Bella is on the label is a winding Santina Jillian for three.
Winners: “Divas”
Santina poses on the platform and Hornswoggle comes out to take a look at the side of surprise. . . and faint. I just hope he’s dead. . . nah, got up. Damn.
Back to the show. Matt Hardy, one of the recruit goes to say that last night showed that Jeff is not only a sensitive and insensitive, savage cored and his hand is broken, so the cast that now sports one of Bob Orton. He also uses a medical term that essentially means that he has no idea what happened. He swears he will not give up and never let anything ever. Even the medicines. He says he had no choice but to quit after his hand was broken and has no choice but to fight tonight. God is whining and complaining. He says he is wrestling under protest. . . and why the hell is that wrestling Goldust?
Matt Hardy vs. Goldust
Matt Goldust goes and constantly keeps jumping out of the ring when Goldust approaches. Then Goldust sneaks up from behind and nails into the back of the head with his cast for three.
Winner: Hardy
Riveting wrestling like no other. And I mean that. It’s just like any fight.
MVP is out with the most appropriate theme song that constantly tells us is achieving sexual satisfaction, or at least that’s how I read it. Do not judge me.
Randy Orton vs. MVP (Non-Title Match)
King Cole and discuss among themselves whether or not Orton is on top of the mountain at this time in an awkward exchange that just seems like the king is trying to make Cole look stupid which is far from difficult. Orton retains control early until MVP finally gets out of a key in a lock on the wrist. Orton takes his departure as a firefighter and a couple of guys singing Orton only for a large number of women singing that sucks. Orton takes control of the match, MVP kicked around. MVP blocks to the right and offers a few knees to the gut before punching him to a flying knee for two.
Orton begins working with a headlock MVP. Sigh. Orton covers MVP of two of a clothesline and is back to the headlock. He says he does these just to piss smarks, but I find it strange that you intentionally make less entertaining unless you only need the talent to be more entertaining. MVP breaks out with a back body drop. Both are in the fight with staggering blows. MVP kicks low, but Orton catches him wit a shoulder block just to eat a belly to belly suplex. MBP Orton catches a corner kick, but an uppercut allows MVP Ballin ‘and a second charge. How many of these movements is now People’s elbow? Orton catches MVP and distills it down on the strings. . . . and Shane comes in with a Shinai to beat the holy shit Orton.
Winner: Orton />
And now, The Miz. . . . I do know. Rants and demands that wants to smash Cena in his first night on Raw. This comes right after Cena said he’s not here tonight, so of course the person who answered the call with the Supper is input. . . . anyone. He says Cena is afraid. Yaaawwwwwn. He mocks Cena movies and says he is tired of seeing the superstar himself in the main event every week of every year. He should tell that to the rest of premiums too I think. And Edge. He says that Cena loses tonight for no show and demands Lillian announce him the winner. Finally, he decided to announce himself with his best impression of Kennedy. . . .
Carlito & Primo vs. Chavo & Noble
Chavo and Noble? What the. . . ? Carlito and Chavo start the works of an armbar, getting the other hand lost somewhere deep in the hair of Carlito. Carlito counters a key withdrawal standing with a press slam that is totally failed. Primo tags in. Jamie is discharged to the ground when trying to enter and jokes Primo flipping around. Jamie Chavo distracts Primo and dumps him on the floor behind. Noble labels on hair that looks a lot less now and is thus much more evil. Noble quit Primo requires its deadly headlock. This does not work for some reason, disconcerting. Noble hammers in the back, but Primo counters a suplex with a cross body for two.
Chavo made the tag before Primo offers a clothesline can and two vaults. Primo goes into an elbow in the corner, but Chavo is captured at the top with a dropkick. Chavo cousin out on the platform but Noble is a neck breaker from Carlito. Carlito counters into the connector on Apple for the win.
Winners: The two points
Batista called for in the back if he feels responsible for losing the title Travel last night. Instead of answering that question in reality he only gives a heroic speech HHH and goes.
Lillian Vickie reintroduced if forgot who he is. I wish I had. She once again played the video of all Orton has done things to people. She decides to Orton vs Shane for next week. Since this was apparently a segment of high quality products we need another break. The man, remember that time I saw a cartoon of something that just happened and thought to yourself “man I’m wiped out and could use a commercial right now”? Well, this moment was for you.
Batista vs The Big Show (Match # 1 Contender’s)
Show Batista powers in a corner, but the break is called. Batista attempts a waist lock only to be thrown out. Big Show takes a few right and tries a chokeslam but Batista escapes and tries for the Batista Bomb. Big Show just pushes him away. . . . and go to another damn commercial! Give me a break. . . . no, not that kind! Give me a break from all these interruptions.
Back to the game. Big Show is getting a second charge of something that I did not see why they hate us. Pummels Batista Big Show headbutts and punches in the corner. Batista took off the ropes in a punch to the stomach and drags Big Show up for a clash of heads. Batista blocks and rams himself in Show at the corner only to be hammered down and walked away. Show finds in him a certain influence rope. Batista then proceeds to stretch around the outside ring post. The referee is kind enough to let him on several counts in all these things. ” Batista tries to rally again with rights and kicks, but low levels hit him.
Scoop slam Big Show is falling and the elbow. These two guys have flown as hot air balloons. Go chin lock!. . . Go chin lock second! Go bear hug! Riveting. Batista Show starts beating on the head and eye rakes to break his way out. Batista steps on the carpet to the signal for a Batista bomb, but walks right into a chokeslam. Batista rolls to the ground and still amazing Dinner Show as we see their way out of the entrance ramp. Batista crawls back into the ring while Big Show was distracted and rarely does it again in the ring for ten.
Winner: Batista
Big Show stares down Cena with the ring and turns into a spear from Batista. I wonder if he is mad that his party lost the lady?
That’s it!